How do I explain something I can’t understand? How do I explain that he hurt me in a way no one else can? How do I explain the scars that run so deep? How do I explain something you can’t even see?   How do I explain that I am scared of seeing him because …

One Year Free

Today is an important day. Today marks the one year anniversary of when I broke up with my abuser. It has officially been a full year since I walked away from him and the prison he put me in. By August 9th, 2016, I felt like I was falling apart. I didn’t eat, sleep, or …

Moving: the last night

I am moving this week. After months of waiting, I am finally moving out of the apartment that’s so deeply tied to my abuser and the hell he put me through. I am not moving that far, just to the other side of town. But I am hoping that a new apartment with a blank …

On my birthday

I’ve never really been crazy about my birthday. For the last few years, there was usually something stressful or chaotic going on around the end of July – one year it was a big exam, another year I had sinus surgery, another year it was an important presentation on my summer research, another year I …

Just yesterday

I have always been an expert at mental time travel. But when you’ve experienced some kind of trauma, this skill becomes all the more magnified. And not in a good way. A complete mental time travel experience usually requires some sort of trigger or cue to bring me back to that particular day and event. …