Look at me

What do you see?
Open your eyes.
Look right into me.
Do you see the bruises?
Do you see the scars?
Can you see
The aching in my heart
The pain that goes unspoken
Look real hard.
Do you see?
That I am a thousand times broken?

He left me shattered and haunted
He took away
All that I wanted
So fast yet so slow
Caught by surprise
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

I don’t know if he’s thinking of me.
But either way,
I refuse to believe
That he’s not hurting too.
But what he said and what he did
Are things I could never forgive.
He can’t take them back.
Not that it matters
He didn’t even try to fix it.

Now I have known heartache,
of course.
But that’s not what this is.
This is something more.
This is feeling raw down to my very core.
And it never stops
It never lets up
Because how could I forget
The man I both feared and loved?

They all say,
That the scars will fade
And the pain will end.
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe them.
Not now, not this moment.
When life keeps going,
But I stand still, frozen.
So look at me,
Look again.
Now do you see?
That I am a thousand times broken.