You gave me a name.
I remember it
Like it was yesterday.
We were lying in your bed
Cuddling to stay warm
I clung to every word you said
Like a sixteen year old girl.
Things were just beginning
And all was perfect
I couldn’t help but thinking
How did I deserve this?
And on that winter night
I was wearing a sparkled shirt
You looked deep into my eyes
You decided I was Stargirl.

I fell in love with that name
As I fell in love with you
And something in me changed
I know you felt it too.
That name made me special
For the first time in forever
Someone thought I had potential.
It gave me confidence
and it gave me worth.
With you by my side
I could conquer the world
Because I
was Stargirl.

But like so many things,
Your faith in me
Was not what it had seemed.
As time passed,
Something had changed
I was no longer worthy
of my Stargirl name.
Your love became possession
Your words,
A deadly weapon.
You asked over and over
what the hell is wrong with me,
like I had a hole in my brain
that only you could see.

You said I was clueless
I couldn’t do anything right.
And I just couldn’t do it
No matter how hard I tried.
I had to be free
Your abuse was no life
For Stargirl to lead.

You may have given me a name
But you took everything else away.
And if there’s one thing I learned,
It’s that I don’t need you
to give me value or worth.
That name was mine
Long before it was yours.
Whether or not
we are together,
I AM Stargirl
Always and forever.

This is a poem addressed to my former abuser. He called me by the name Stargirl in the beginning of our relationship. I clung to that name because I thought it meant he believed in me. Like so much else, that was a lie. But the name he gave me was not. He may have tried to tear me down, but I will build myself back up. Because I have potential and I have worth. I never needed him to be Stargirl.

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