I never thought I would be the kind of person to start a blog. But as I have learned this past year, there are a lot of things that happen in life you cannot anticipate. I am starting this blog because last year I became involved in an abusive relationship with a fellow student in my graduate program. I never thought anything like that would happen to me. I was under the naive assumption that I was too smart to fall for someone with abusive and controlling tendencies. Wrong. This can happen to anyone and it can be anyone. My abuser was an MD/PhD student, getting the highest degree possible, and doing outstanding neuroscience research. There is no typical framework when it comes to abusive relationships.
Although I am now free from this person, I struggle everyday knowing that this man still works in my building, that he is going to get away with this yet again, and that I cannot even say anything without risking my own graduate career. And, more importantly, there’s the undeniable fear that no one would believe me if I did tell. I know that there are many other women who have experienced this feeling and are living in this prison of isolation – of wanting to tell and have your voice be heard, but knowing that speaking the truth could have serious consequences for you and that you might not be believed. This is what makes me angrier than anything, because it is this pattern of silence that enables the cycle of abuse to continue. I want women out there to be able to share their stories and know that someone believes them and cares. It is the only way for the cycle to end. I will be posting excerpts of my story and I hope that you will comment and share your stories too. Because it is time to tell. It is time to speak.